Made in Chelsea

1

Ad Victorem Spolias – To The Victor Go The Spoils

2

Quick, Let's Have A Quickie

3

I'm So Honest With Everyone, Maybe It's A Downfall

4

Do I Look Like Jesus?

5

Take Your Passion, Make It Happen

6

Problems Not Solutions, That's The Way I Live My Life

7

Payback's A Bitch

8

I Find It The Biggest Turn On That He's Shouting At Me

1

Capitalism Makes You Beautiful

2

When I Was Younger I Experimented With Clingfilm

3

Babe, You're Attituding At Me

4

No One Likes A Banjo

5

My Mum Sometimes Calls Me Football Head

6

Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi?

7

You've Gotta Level The Playing Field

8

How Do They Find Flamingo Roadkill?

9

Je Suis Amoreuse De Toi

10

Here's To Friendship

11

End of Season Party

12

Christmas Special

1

When You're Part of the Party, You Never Want the Party to Stop

2

What's Mine Is Mine and What's Yours We Share

3

Sabotage Is Not Chic

4

What's the Point of a Point to Point

5

I'm Not Really That Gay at All

6

Until The Book's Closed It's Open

7

Karma's A Bitch

8

Everyone Has Skeletons In Their Closet

9

It's Called Dessert And Apparently It's Sucking Richard's Face

10

At The End Of The Day, I've Got The Crazy Title. No One Can Steal That From Me

11

End of Season Party

1

If You Want To Crack On And Go Head To Head... You'll F****** Lose

2

The More You Can't Have Someone... You Want Them More

3

No One You Want At A Party Is Going To Turn Up To A Themed Party, Unless It's Versailles

4

I Could Fall In Love With You So Easily...

5

A Man At 23 Is A Bit Like A Girl At 15

6

They're Wriggly Little Buggers

7

I Think You've Got The Costume Wrong Tonight Because It's Not Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

8

I'd Rather Die Than Be Friends With Her

9

If I Wanted To Sleep With Other Girls, I Could

10

I Used To Charge Younger Boys For Bunny Cuddles

11

I Didn't Know Reindeers Actually Existed. I Thought They Were, Like, A Mythical Creature

12

End of Season Party

1

I Made A Mistake That I Wanted To Cover Up

2

I Am Not A Robot

3

Of Course I'm Going To Say I'm Straight

4

He Is Being A Tit

5

Kill Jamie, Marry Andy, Kiss Spencer

6

I Wouldn't Want My Daughter Going Out With Spencer Matthews

7

Is He A Fantastic Lay?

8

See You Later, Spenny

9

It's Very Rare To Find Someone Who Hasn't F*cked One Of Your Friends

10

Hot Tubs Are Like My Nemesis

11

She's Becoming Spencer

12

End of Season Party

1

I'd Have Sex With Any Of My Exes

2

Your Friends Are All Pretty Rude

3

If You Are Going To Play Two Girls, It's Best To Play Two Who Don't Know Each Other

4

I Once Knew Someone Who Had A Sleeping Bag

5

Your Buds Are Way More Important Than Any Girl

6

Willies Aren't Such A Big Thing, We All Know That

7

You Need to Get Under Someone to Get Over Someone

8

Let's Go For A Drink, Maybe Some Fondling

9

Fancy A Bit Of African Holiday Sex?

10

If You Knew Everything I'd Be In Deep Deep Trouble

11

Miracles Happen At Christmas

12

End of Season Party

1

There's Gonna Be A Storm

2

Doesn't Everyone Have Secrets?

3

People Think I Look Like Karl Lagerfeld

4

There's Difference Between Bro Code And Being-A-D*ck Code

5

If Your D*ck's Working, Your Head's Working

6

I Want To Be In Everyone's Breast Pocket, Caressing Half Of London's Nipples

7

Everyone Loves A Toff

8

I Was Sucked Into A World I Didn't Know

9

You're Like A Fat Tom Daley

10

When Are We Getting Married?

11

I Tried So Bad, I Even Got Naked

1

What Happens In New York, Doesn't Stay In New York

2

You Snooze, You Lose

3

Prudders Is A Beast

4

I'm Not Seasonal, I'm A Timeless Classic

5

Get Out Of The Friend Zone And Kiss Her

6

We Could Die Tonight So Let's All Try To Be Happy

7

Welcome To My Playpen

8

Someone Needs To Watch The Sheep When The Shepherd's Away

9

It's Like Looking At Bambi Before She Gets Shot

10

You Need To Grow Up And Be A Man, Period!

11

Do You Know What Carrying Around My Past Does To People?

12

End of Season Party

1

Let's Go And Get More Tanned

2

They Were Literally Just Force Feeding Us Relationship Foie Gras

3

Oh My God, Tonsil Tennis Galore

4

I Don't Want Two Girlfriends, I Want One Girlfriend

5

I Find It Impossible Not To Think About The Terracotta

6

The Last Time I Saw Him I Was Naked In A Forest

7

She's Coming Round To My House For Cocktails And A Bit Of Foreplay

8

What A Mortifying Insight Into People's Choice Of Nightwear

9

There Are Two Types Of People In The World; Radiators And Drains

10

100th Episode Special

11

A Surprise Awaits Below The Surface

12

Relationships Shouldn't Be Stressful

1

No One Ever Kicks Me Out of Bed

2

You Look Like A Unicorn

3

You're Digging Yourself A Grave

4

He Lives And Breathes Vagina

5

I've Heard He's Quite A Thorough Lover

6

You Don't Get Anywhere In Life Without Visualising The End Goal

7

We Were Like Two Peas In A Pod, And Now I'm Just One Pea

8

I Feel Like I've Been Put In A Naughty Corner

9

I'm All Over The Place Right Now, Emotionally And Florally

10

There's A Jamie Shaped Hole In My Life

11

He’s Making An Armageddon Of Mistakes

12

End of Season Party

1

I Used To Snog Girls In The Towel Cupboard... Naked

2

Everyone Dates Everyone... That's Just What We Do

3

My Mum Likes Getting Her Boobs Out When She's Drunk, It's Fine

4

It's So Hard Talking To Someone Whose Face Doesn't Move

5

Why Am I Keeping All Your Secrets?

6

You Need To Find Someone Who Is Weird, Who You Can Be Weird With

7

I Was Considering Nipple Tassles

8

Go Get The Girl

9

Once A Cheat, Always A Cheat

10

One Normally Has A Different Tea Service For Every Room

11

Marry The Idiot

12

The Aftermath

1

I Genuinely Believe He Thinks He's In A Disney Film

2

Every Time Francis Paints A Girl’s Heart Is Broken

3

You Have Got Naughty Little Thing Written All Over Your Face

4

Kanye West, What Is That?

5

Well You Haven’t Seen My Giant Silver Ostrich

6

I Don’t Care About Quinoa

7

Get Off Your High Horse

8

I’m Wearing His Boxers Today And They’re Enormous

9

My Libido Is Going Bang Right Now

10

I’m On A Bratwurst Hunt

11

You Didn’t Put Any Breathing Holes In Here

12

Christmas Party

1

It’s The Next Chapter

2

You Just Crave Sex and Carbs

3

Fred, You Have A Girlfriend You Moron

4

Homewrecker, One O’Clock

5

It Looks Like You Are Obsessed With Me

6

He Said They Didn’t Kiss, He Said They Fondled

7

If I Could Punch You In The Face I Would

8

Marriage Is Inevitable

9

Mate, I Got Myself In A Little Bit Of A Situation

10

I’m Not This Good A Liar

11

This Is Not A Baby Shower, This Is A Fricking Carnival

12

End of Season Party

1

I Don’t Like Vegans, I Don’t Like Feminists And I Don’t Like People Who Are Gluten Free

2

It’s Just Difficult To Tell Your Friends What’s Going On

3

Our Future Is Doomed

4

The Boy Learnt To Walk In Loaffers, He Will Probably Die Wearing His Loaffers

5

I Don’t Think You Can Have A Proper Relationship Until You’ve Had Your Heart Broken

6

Aluminium Is Not Really My Style

7

We Don’t Need To Go Down Memory Lane Dude

8

I Won’t Have A Buffet Until I’m Dead

9

Two Can Play At That Game

10

I’m More Domesticated Than A Cat

11

Who Do You Think Deserves A Good Whipping This Year?

12

Christmas Ding Dong

1

I Wanna Know Who She Is And Where She’s Come From

2

Mimi Has Got A Boyfriend, Everyone Else Stay Calm

3

Honestly, I’ve Never Felt Like This Before

4

I’m Tortoise Sitting For My Neighbour

5

Therapy Is Therapeutic, This Is Not Therapy

6

Don’t Look At Me When You’re Taking Your Pants Off Please

7

He Needs A Taste Of His Own Medicine

8

I Literally Just Tried To Talk Dirty In Latin

9

No One Wants To Shag Just A Personality

10

It Is Baller To Be Bad In Bed

11

Darling, Sabotage Is Such An Ugly Word

12

End of Season Party

1

If That’s A Slapped A* Then Slap Me Now

2

I Hate When My Human Side Comes Out

3

I Love It When You Get Deep And Dirty

4

Rule Number One, Never Give Back The Diamonds Darling

5

I Shan’t Be Climbed

6

You’re A Beggy Little Bitch

7

Some Would Say That I’m The King Of A Gesture

8

I’m Going To Redeem Myself And Make Sure Everyone Loves Me

9

You And I Have Gone Down A Very Dark Track

10

I Was Too Blind To Hear It

11

I Think The Best Thing About Christmas Is Once It’s All Over

12

Big Christmas Quiz

1

We Do Complicated, Don't We?

2

You Showed My Friend’s Mum Your Testicle

3

She's Like A Little Slippery Eel

4

I Was Like The Funny Nice Douche, He’s Just A Douche

5

This Boy Is Getting In Between Our Friendship

6

She’s A Very Odd Bird

7

Can We Have Another Sexual Revolution Please?

8

I Need To Find A Tree And Feed It Chocolate

9

Sometimes When You’re Drunk, The Truth Does Come Out

10

Maybe Suck On A Sweet While I Tell You This

11

I’m Gonna Meghan Markle Myself

12

Some People Are Off Limits

13

As Far As The Wrongest Thing You’ve Ever Done, This Ain’t That Bad

1

Victoria, I Will Never Die

2

Right, I’ve Got A Little Bit Of A Situation

3

This Is Something That Chelsea Lacks – Common Decency!

4

I’m The Opposite Of A Narcissist

5

Who Brought Maeva?

6

I Don’t Know How Many More Nails We Can Put In The Coffin

7

He Must Be Great In The Sack

8

He Needs To Go To Better Lad School

9

Let’s Break Some Bread

10

If Anyone Could Ride A Lion It’s Tristan

11

The Dudelsack Is Out!

12

Argentina Baby

13

I Wish I Was A Narcissist

14

I Have A Girlfriend... On Paper

15

Let's Get Married

16

End of Yah Quiz

1

I Need My Binky Back

2

I Like Playing In The Danger Zone

3

I Don't Care If It's My Battle Or Not

4

If You're Secure In Your Relationship, It Shouldn't Be An Issue

5

99% Of The Population Will Understand What I'm Saying

6

She Doesn't Trust Him To Be Around Me

1

3AM is Prime Time Booty Call

2

You're Leaving A Couple Of Vipers For Another Couple Of Vipers

3

With Great Rig Comes Great Responsibility

4

I Did Something Really Bad

5

You're My Friend, But I Also Quite Wanna Kiss You

6

Once The Sex Is Gone, The Relationship Is Gone

7

I Can Get Hard If You Need Me To, Clive

8

You Get Angry At Your Own Voice

9

Crumbs

10

She Just Got A Bit Over Familiar

11

Ctrl + Alt + Delete Habbs

12

The Wedding

1

It's Just...Lighting The Match

2

Stop Spitting On My Mink!

3

Julius Is Nursing A Semi

4

I Don't Play Hard To Get

5

I've Had More Comfortable Gynaecological Appointments

6

The Thing With You Maeva Is You're Just Slightly Misunderstood

7

I'm Coming From A Good Place...For Once

8

We've Just Had A Nice Friendly Jacuzzi... What's Up With That?

9

I'm Moody, If You're Broody

10

Hurry Up And Break Up With Your Boyfriend

11

I Will Skateboard On Your Head

12

Prince Charmings Will Come And Go...But I'll Always Be Here

1

Did You Miss Me a Little Bit?

2

You're Literally Pouring Gasoline on the Fire

3

I Think You're Dismissed Now

4

Trust is Built in Droplets and Lost in Buckets

5

I Want a Man Who Buys Me Diamonds, Not Silver

6

My Heart Was Made Into Beef Carpaccio

7

If They Get Married I Will Eat My Own Scrotum

8

This is a Very Big Red Flag in Front of a Very Scary Bull

9

I’m Sorry for Having a Moment of Weakness

10

Big Dig Energy

11

Christmas: I Didn’t Realise How Well Endowed You Were

12

Christmas (2)

1

She's Like a Snake in Sheep's Clothing

2

I'm Back

3

Fashion Is Repulsive

4

The Truth Always Comes Out

5

I'll Literally Regret It Forever

6

Let's Give It Another Go

7

Is There No Decorum Anymore?

8

Silence Speaks Volumes

9

This Is His Worst Nightmare

10

Why Be Kind When You Can Be a Bitch?

1

Miles is My Little Protégé

2

She’s Burnt More Bridges Than There Are in London

3

You Are the Bane of My Life and the Love of My Life

4

She Just Kept Talking Like A Dishwasher

5

You're Not George Clooney

6

I'm A One Guy Kinda Girl

7

Take Your Red Bus And Shove It Up Your Ars*h*le

8

I've Got A Feeling I Might Like Her More Than Julius

9

You Don't Really Know Someone Until You Kiss Them

10

Maeva Is Definitely The Head Of The Snake

1

I’ve Never Felt More Single In My Life

2

I Want You to be Happy In a ‘More Is More’ Way

3

In England We Play Happy Families

4

I’ve Heard Quieter Chihuahuas

5

If Lily's Tongue Wasn't Down Billy's Throat It Was Up Harvey's Arse

6

I'm Living In His Head Rent Free

7

It Was Cringy, It Was Creepy and I Did It

8

I Can't Argue With Stupid

9

Rosé and Emotions Got the Better of Me

10

One Of You Needs To Bite The Bullet

11

The Only Pain I Want in My Life is Champagne

1

Don't Get Dickmatized By This Man

2

We Love The Grey Zone

3

And The Pot Has Been Stirred

4

When Life Gives You Lemons, Get With Olivia Bentley

5

Here's Your Box Of Bullshit

6

You're Going To Have To Park Your Principles In Your Ass Right Now

7

My Eyes Just Did Five Blackflips

8

I'm Looking For A Nicer, Calmer Life

9

He's The Epitome Of A Wet Wipe

10

You're Not Going To Police Who I Can And Can't Be Friends With

1

He Likes Gardening, You Like Gucci

2

Did We Witness A Pantomime?

3

I Wanna Release My Freak

4

Exes Be Gone

5

Have I Let Go Of The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me?

6

I Always Get Sucked Back In

7

There Was An Absolute Vibe

8

Doesn't She Look Like a Tall Glass of Champagne?

9

"I Put Onions On Hot Dogs, So Might As Well Put Them On Caviar"

10

"Is Your Ego That Big?"

1

I Think She's Got Gentry in Her

2

He's Literally a Slimy Slug, He's Very Slug-Esque

3

Am I Like a Pawn In a Bigger Game?

4

You've Got to Shoot Your Shot

5

We're Turning Back Time In Our Face, Not In Our Relationships

6

Do You Still Have Feelings For Me?

7

All the Other Rabbits Are Also Fighting Me For the Carrot

8

You Are Cock Blocking Yourself

9

You Can't Reheat the Soufflé, If You Know What I Mean?

10

That Sounds a Bit Bootycally

1

Maldives: Sometimes You Need to Think About Your Clitoris (1)

2

Maldives: I've told you porkies (2)

3

There is no line this kid won't cross

4

You had yourself some naked cuddles

5

My heart just went pitter-patter

6

It's supposed to sound like a nun's fart in a cemetery

7

I am out of everyone's league

8

Demon to demon, we need to have a conversation

9

Don't blame a clown for being a clown

10

Ralph Lauren on the outside, bad boy in the inside

1

Thailand: At the end of the day I've got the guy, she doesn't (1)

2

Thailand: Out with mummy, in with milfy (2)

3

This Is Not Arguing, This Is Sexual Tension

4

I drunk called him the other night, accidentally on purpose

5

If she's hurt, then I'm hurt and then I will hurt you

6

Episode 6

7

Episode 7

8

We’re So Back

9

Episode 9

10

Episode 10

1

Episode 1

2

Episode 2

3

Episode 3

4

Episode 4

5

Episode 5

6

Episode 6

7

Episode 7

8

Episode 8

9

Episode 9